A new day....

I don't know how many "come to Jesus" moments I've had in my weight loss journey...more than I could count probably. I've said many times in the last 6 (oh my word, has it been that long?) months, that I've been struggling. But now matter how many times I "start over", I haven't been able to string more than a week or two together of being OP during this time. I had a great week last week, lost like 6.5 pounds....then I started freaking out about applying for a new job and what did I do? I turned to food...AGAIN! It's like a never ending habit that I just haven't been able to break! The only constants in this equation are that:

1. Binging doesn't make the stressful situation go away.
2. Binging makes me feel worse, not better.
3. All that happens is that I gain weight and feel worse.

Thanks to my awesome friend Nikki and the WW 100+ board, I haven't given up this time, which is SOMETHING at least. I am up probably 10ish pounds (again) from my lowest ever back in March 2006 of 179.6. I am afraid to step on the scale right now, but I will face it tomorrow.

So officially, as of this moment. I am starting, AGAIN, again. LOL. Thank you Nikki, Shaun, Lara, and all of the wonderful people who care about me, love me thick or thin, and listen to my babble. I don't know how I lost that initial motivation (except maybe the stress of tax season and being at work 70-80 hours a week) and I don't know how to get it back. All I can do is make a decision that I will do this. For myself. To be a healthier, happier person. To make sure that I am around for my family and friends. To be healthy when I get pregnant someday in the future. To have a longer, healthier life. To achieve my goal of being able to shop in any store I want.

Thank you God that I have the opportunity to continue to try again. I need to stop taking these second chances for granted.

As Nikki, my ultimate inspiration says, I am gonna MAKE IT HAPPEN!! I am excited!!!!! :) Tomorrow I will post new starting stats and all that good jazz!!! :D